Checking in, not checking out
Much of what I write in Composting Yesterday’s World grows out of insights that have come from conversations that opened something new. Dialogues when people were fully present, listened with real attention, and allowed fresh insights to surface. A while ago, I wrote about LärOlika, the dialogue-based initiative I’ve been part of for more than a decade, and the power of good questions. But that raises a simple, practical issue: how do you begin a conversation that has the potential to go somewhere? How do you check in at the start of a shared journey?
The truth is that many meetings in everyday life begin in a scattered way. At workplaces, people walk in from other tasks, carrying whatever their day has already thrown at them. And then we ask them to think clearly or make decisions or be creative, usually under time pressure. The convenor taps the table and says “we really need to get going now” and off we rush. Again and again. Outside of our professional lives, many meetings follow the same pattern at the beginning. The way a meeting begins matters more than we admit, and one of the most effective tools I know is the simple check-in round. It helps the group settle. It signals that presence is part of the work. It allows people to arrive as humans first, roles second. And it gives everyone to open their mouths at least once during the meeting.
A check in does not need to be elaborate. A single question. One sentence per person. Sometimes even a brief shared breath before anyone speaks. But what is a good question? “What’s on your mind today” or “what do you hope to get out of this meeting” are common enough and sure, they can work. Yet there are many other possibilities, each inviting a slightly different kind of attention.
That is why I built a small online tool that generates check-in questions. Nothing complex, just a way to help a group begin in a more grounded way. You can try it here:
https://checkin-questions.lovable.app/
The questions are not mine, and no, they are not AI generated. They come from the LärOlika process itself. At the start of each program, we ask participants to write down a question they would genuinely like to ask someone else in the room. We have collected them, and over the years, some of these have stayed with me. This tool gathers a few of my favorites.
How to do it? Pose the question, state the ground rules (e.g. one sentence per person, or maybe only three words). Maybe go around the table or circle (we call that “creeping death”), or let anyone speak when they feel ready (”popcorn”). If the group is too big, the check in can take place in small groups. And try as hard as you can to get everyone to speak.
Checking in is a small gesture, but it has outsized effects. When a gathering begins with presence, and the room is filled with everyone’s voices, the conversation that follows tends to find more honesty, more clarity, more insights, and sometimes even a touch of grace.